Woman bars stepdad from going by a name that means ‘father’ with her newborn son: ‘[We] are uncomfortable with our son calling him this’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 29, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Children can become easily confused very young. By children, I mean infants through ten years old; children grow up thinking something is normal when it in fact isn't. Though we as humans create our own versions of normalcy within each family dynamic we create, it's important to remember that a child might go out into the world with things they've learned from their parents that might not sit right with folks outside of the family unit. This is a roundabout way to say: Don't let your kid's grandpa call himself by a name that means 'father'.

Now, the husband who posted this on behalf of himself and his wife mentions they are not native Hebrew speakers. The wife's stepfather, David, wants to be called 'Avi', which means 'father' in Hebrew. Though the child will not be speaking Hebrew, this is a little strange, especially because of the very strained relationship he and his stepdaughter have. The couple ultimately refuses her stepfather's request. Scroll below to see what commenters think about this situation.

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  • Some folks have disagreed with the wife's sentiment in that the family does not speak Hebrew. However, it's important to note that the couple does not have to abide by any of David's requests, especially after his past of trying to force a relationship his stepdaughter did not want. Children (now parents) have the right to not confuse their child.

  • Cheezburger Image 10510752000
    via Pedro Kümmel for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my wife’s stepdad our newborn son isn’t calling him ‘father’?"

    My (27M) wife's (27F) father passed away when she was 9 and her mom remarried to her stepdad when she was 15. My
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • wife and her stepdad have always butted heads because he oversteps and has tried to force himself as a father figure in her
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • life. When my wife's mom married him they both made it very clear that he was never going to be her dad and he basically had no control over her and he has reluctantly accepted that over the years.
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • Fast forward to today, my wife gave birth to our son a week ago, he is the first grand baby on both sides so all the grandparents are
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • trying to figure out what they want to be called. My wife's stepdad's name is David and wants our son to all him 'Avi'
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • which means father in Hebrew. My wife and I are uncomfortable with our son calling him this so we asked him if there was
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • another name he could go by and he made a fuss that he intentionally didn't want to be called grandpa because my wife
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • has made a point in the past that his actual grandpa is no longer with us. But now he's complaining that we aren't going to be happy with any name he wants to go by.
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • AITA for telling him my son isn't calling him father?
    via Agent_Bubbles7
  • deepspacenineoneone NTA, for sure. Why the Hebrew word for father? Is he Jewish? Saba and Zayde are right there. How strange.
    via deepspacenineoneone
  • Donutsmell NTA. He shouldn't be called Avi no matter what, because he isn't the father. You are. It doesn't sound like Grandpa would be appropriate, either, even if he wanted it. Your wife
    via Donutsmell
  • doesn't see him as a father. Tell him that unless he stops being obstinate and picks a different name you all agree on, the baby is going to be calling him David.
    via Donutsmell
  • Due-Commission2099 NTA, he wants his Step- Grandson to call him Father!? How is that not weird!? Sounds like he wants a redo and is trying to project that onto your son.
    via Due-Commission2099
  • Tell him your baby can call him David. I called my step-dad's father, "Jim." It's perfectly fine, and tbh Jim was the only person in that family I actually liked. We even lived with him and his wife for years cause my step-dad was kinda a loser hahahhaa.
    via Due-Commission2099
  • Momjamoms That child will never know your wife's biological dad, and even he did, it's okay to have multiple grandpas. Just go with grandpa. David works too. Avi sounds ridiculous.
    via Momjamoms
  • Selenthiax Grandpa would be totally normal and appropriate though. He's not your wife's father but he WILL be your child's grandfather, even if only by marriage rather than bl d. And he will surely be acting as a grandfather. It sounds like
    via Selenthiax
  • your wife still holds a lot of resentment for him but you should let your child have a normal relationship with his grandparents. He isn't going to mourn the biological grandfather he never knew.
    via Selenthiax

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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